Who is responsible for your happiness? The correct answer is, of course, you are. This is a very popular concept right now.
We are each responsible for our own happiness and happiness is a choice. Therefore, we can all be happy by making a decision to be happy. Right? It sounds good on paper, doesn’t it? And the thing about it is that it’s absolutely true.
So I made the decision to be happy and nothing happened. What do I do now?
Ah, there’s the rub. It’s about more than just making the decision. It’s also about making some changes. And there are as many points of view on what changes to make as there are people writing about it. But for what it’s worth, this is my take on where you start.
Manage your thoughts
That easy three word sentence sometimes takes a lifetime to accomplish. Become a witness to all your thoughts and associated emotions and begin to channel them into thoughts that are positive. Listen to yourself. How many times do you start a conversation with “I’m so pissed…?” That, of course, is followed by a description of all the negative things that make you feel that way and you’ve reinforced your victim hood with your own negative thinking and speaking.
How often do you describe yourself as “too” something? Too fat, too thin, too old, too uneducated, too lonely, too depressed? How often do you think of others (judge them, actually) as “too” something-or-other?You’ve reinforced your negative thoughts and feelings about yourself and of the people around you.
There are many books that address the subject of the powerful affects of your thoughts have on your life. In fact I searched Amazon.com just to get an idea of the number. For the key words “positive thinking” there were 14,586 results and for the key words “negative thinking” there were 14,290 results. At least the positive is ahead. That’s a lot of books about your thoughts and their impact on you and those around you.
Hmmm. Maybe there’s something to it.
Learn and accept “What is, is.”
Most situations in our daily life just are–they are neither good nor bad–they just are. Shakespeare said in Hamlet, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Now I don’t want to get into a big discussion about good and evil here, I just want you to ponder the concept.
Think of how the media, with their constant reporting of negative events blows them all out of proportion and sometimes causes the negative effects to escalate. Think of how, when you dwell on a negative thing, blow it out of proportion, and make it a huge deal, you find out later that your facts were wrong in the first place.
If you accept that “what is, is” you can remain at peace. And I’m not saying become complacent and sit back and let bad things happen. Become an activist in making life better for you and everyone around you, but don’t let them rob you of your inner peace and joy.
Aren’t you tired of hearing that? And how do you do it? Yesterday I watched several segments of America’s Next Top Model because I found the interaction and the expectations quite fascinating. Several of the models were told on different occasions to “go within” but they weren’t told what that means or how to do it.
“Going within” entails getting quiet enough to discover who you really are, what you truly want, and what you believe without anyone telling you that you have to believe it. Most of us call this “meditation” but if you don’t like that word, call it anything you want, but do it.
Some people escape into mind chatter and busy work to avoid this one-on-one meeting with Self but if you are truly interested in self-Improvement “going within” is a requirement. Going within does not bring you a quick fix or instant happiness but over a period of time it increases your over all feeling of well-being. You may think nothing is happening and, yet, you are aware that you are more peaceful, more content. The change that takes place is deep and lasting.
So here are three things (among many) that help you start on your path to choose and feel happiness:
- Managing your thoughts.
- What is, is.
- And going within.
They fit together like a hand in a glove and lead you to a place where it is easier to make the choice to be happy and feel happy. You know the old cliché–Try it, you might like it.