It is an important part of one’s journey of accepting who they are and how the world will see them while they are still in the closet, hiding from the world, fearing the change that will take place. But, just because the world may bring you down, does not mean you can’t learn to raise yourself so high nobody can manage to bring you down.
This can occur by developing your self-worth while you are still in the closet and going forth in your life once you decide to make that brave and important decision. This is because others will try to make you lose your self-worth, and you will become your own worst enemy bringing your self-worth down.
The negatives of having a low self-worth
It is toxic and damaging to your well-being because you will not value yourself as you should. You will doubt yourself and your capabilities as others will fear the potential that you can achieve. The stubbornness and naivety from others will weave its way into your life and you will begin to lose respect in yourself.
You will hold yourself back because of others. Therefore, you should focus on yourself. Focus on who you are and who you can be. Remember, that the most important person in your life is you. Live for yourself, not for others, not for their approval of you because they should not be worth your time.
Get to know what you are not
You are not selfish for caring more about your own opinions about yourself than others. You are not selfish for thinking about yourself, for making decisions and taking actions that benefit you, not others.
You are a human just like everyone else and you need to give yourself more self-respect that you deserve. You should gain more courage and not cower in fear. Fear holds so many from doing great and new things in their life.
It is not the response of the world that you should pay attention to, but the response in yourself. The achievement that others struggle to make. Don’t think about others, they are going through their obstacles in life and it’s just their self-defense to take their problems out on you. You should know that you are the better person, for not wanting to ruin someone else’s day by the words that you say.
You are not what others say you are. You are what you want to be, and you are what you believe you can be.
Be there for yourself
Excuses hold those that are in the closet back, to delay other’s reactions. You worry. It all plays a part with everyone’s coming out, each a completely different story from the other and not everyone’s so heart-warming.
Staying in the closet makes you lose hope in your future and everything that you could be doing because you prevent yourself from moving forward. Staying in the closet can be made less of your enemy and more of an ally if you still need time.
Use it to develop and learn more about yourself, not to doubt yourself or to hate yourself. In the closet, you don’t hear this because you expect to hear other nastier words, but you are so damn great and so damn awesome.
There are billions of people in this world. There are people that love you, you may not have found them yet, but life cannot wait for you to meet them. Your looks, nobody can compare to how you look. To the unique features you have.
And this is what you should be doing while still in the closet, standing tall, believing in yourself. Contributing positivity in your direction and overcoming your negativity to better your self-worth.
Respect what you are going through
At one point you will look back at your journey and appreciate the effort you have put into yourself. To build the courage you need, self-confidence and most importantly your self-worth.
You will become more self-reliant on yourself as you get through your journey. You should not rely on others because they can let you down in times when you may need them the most. Learn to become responsible for yourself.
The world is never as dark as you may think. Believe and trust in yourself. Keep yourself strong so that others can’t hurt you. Know that they are not important. It’s never too late to work on yourself and put in the effort to get a better self-worth for yourself.
Don’t let your self-worth come and go
I’ve been in the closet and it is not a fair obstacle in life for people to go through. To question the love that you have for someone, to feel sad about your possible decisions. It can take a toll on a person.
The world does not need to know who you are unless you want it to, but you should know everything about yourself and be proud and love it. Sometimes, people don’t deserve to know more about you, look at everything through a different perspective to understand which one best fits for you.
I questioned if I should come out as bi instead of gay to lessen the blow but that would just be lying about myself. It would show that I am afraid of myself so I should rather do what makes me happy, which puts a smile on my face.
Everyone would talk and make sly comments behind my back which now when I look back at it. I laugh because they were going through their sh*t and just trying to take their issues out on me. It’s cruel and harsh and I didn’t want that to be a part of my life, so I ignored the noise that they were making. It helps to build a tough mind so that you realize how weak the bullies around you are.
Now, you can see that maintaining and improving your self-worth has more than just one benefit. Remember, that what you are doing is for you and no one else.
“Loving yourself starts with liking yourself, which starts with respecting yourself, which starts with thinking of yourself in positive ways.” -Jerry Corsten
Learn to accept yourself while you are in the closet. Gain a true understanding of yourself by improving your self-worth.
About the Author
Austin Goff is a first-year college student trying to find his way in life and wondering where it will guide him. He writes all his thoughts about mental health in his blog Azrion.com, in hopes that it would help someone in their tough times in life.