Inner peace is something that we all strive for. There are several different methods that people swear by to achieve this but none are completely solid and applicable to everyone. Focusing on little things stand in your way and keep you from accomplishing your goals and looking at the bigger picture. Here’s some tips on the art of letting go and how it directly correlates to your happiness.
Steps in The Art of Letting Go
Identify the feeling or trauma
Identify what you’re feeling that you need to let go and why it is that you’re feeling it. This may be a past trauma, something in life that didn’t go the way you wanted, a broken relationship, or a mistake that you made. Holding these things in will only force them to resurface later, sometimes in a completely unrelated interaction. Identify, process, and let it go.
Genuinely be ready to heal
Make sure that you are ready to let go of whatever is troubling you. Recognize the hard work that needs to be done to be sure that you are ready to heal. During this time you can reflect on what you learned from the situation, how it made you better, and what you will change next time to do better.
Accept that it’s time to let go
The first step of letting go of this trauma is to accept that you’ve suffered long enough. If you are still reeling from a breakup, betrayal, abandonment, or confrontation – realize that you cannot move forward without letting these things go completely. Holding onto old feelings will only hold you back from accomplishing goals and reaching the big picture in your life.
Realize that you will not always be in control
If you consider yourself to be a hands-on person it is extremely hard to let go of control at times. The only way to do this is to accept that it is impossible to control everything and also to desire being in control all the time usually has an underlying sense of insecurity attached to it. This is a process that will be hard to maneuver. But sometimes the power of surrender outweighs the power of control.
They say that when you forgive you should do it for you and not for the other person. This theory has been proven and if you’ve ever held a grudge you know why. Holding onto feelings of hate, resentment, negativity, etc can pin you down and block positivity from coming into your life. If you’ve ever forgiven someone it feels like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. Sometimes you hold onto things for so long that your identity starts to become attached to that thing. Once you let go you’ll have to be ready to re-identify who you are without carrying along the resentment.
Live in the moment
Sometimes we get so caught up in our own world that we obsess over what has already happened and what has the potential of happening, the past and the future. Rarely do people ever stay present in every single moment. We are human, it is natural to worry about the future, and dwell over things that have happened and what could have been changed, however it is not healthy to obsess over it. If it happened already, move on. Worrying about tomorrow will only ruin your today. Finding that balance is important and crucial to your inner peace.
Things to let go of:
Find a creative hobby/release, exercise, be grateful for all the good things happening in your life right now. Speak positivity into existence. Prepare for the life that you want not for the life that you currently have, read self-improvement books.
Vent about what is bothering you, look at the situation from other person’s perspective, write down everything you’re feeling then throw it away.
Toxic/ Estranged Relationships
Hold on to good memories, remove any negative correspondence between you and that person (emails, text messages, letters, etc), distance yourself from that person’s circle, wish them well.
Meditation, yoga, spending time with friends and loved ones, live in the moment, try new activities, meet new people, laugh and have fun.
About the Author
Sekinah Brodie is a Marketing Assistant at Penji, a graphic design startup offering unlimited graphic design at a flat monthly rate. She is a community leader supporting her peers and local businesses with design, marketing, and community engagement. As a graduate of Hopeworks ‘n Camden and Montclair State University, she is experienced in web development, design, and communications. Sekinah enjoys writing and constantly learning about technology, entrepreneurship, and diversity in startups. She strives to empower women and minorities with job opportunities, career development, and positive representation.