Many psychologists agree that the death of a spouse is the most stressful event a person can go through. The loss that is felt is immense, and what else would you feel but emptiness never to be filled again. Notwithstanding the fact you’re completely devastated, there will come a time when you’ll wish to go on. This wish will be coupled with grief and feelings of guilt, but it will be a wish nevertheless. You’ll even discover a little niche called widower dating, but today we won’t go as far as to talk about letting a new person into your life. Instead, we focus on self-growth to ensure you find your inner peace first by offering our top 5 ways to start feeling like yourself again. You might consider this the ultimate guide for widowers.
#1: Set a Goal
A loss of any kind takes a toll on your self-confidence, but the loss of a spouse can make you feel so broken you can’t even imagine moving on and letting go of the grief. One thing that you can do to improve your self-confidence is to set a goal that would be challenging enough to require some effort while also being attainable. Little by little, you’ll start to work toward achieving that goal and once you succeed, your self-confidence will get the much-needed boost.
#2: Figure out What You Want
Death of a spouse leaves people feeling defeated and ready to give up on life without giving it as much as a second thought. However, as time goes on and your heart starts to heal, you’ll discover that life goes on whether you want it to or not. It’s important to engage in a little introspection and try to figure out what it is that you want now. Don’t expect this to happen just weeks following your spouse’s passing, but at some point, you’ll reconnect with yourself and seek enjoyment. What makes you happy? Be clear about what you want. If you want stability, making rash decisions are unlikely to bring you satisfaction.
#3: Change a Habit
Changing a habit is difficult even when you’re emotionally stable let alone when you feel like you’ve been hit by a tsunami. On the other hand, it’s important that you feel like you have some control over your life, and changing a habit would do just that. If you’ve been a smoker for decades now is probably not the right time to give up something that has been a part of you for far too long. Focus on something on a slightly smaller scale so you don’t set yourself up for failure. For instance, if you’ve noticed you’ve been picking up junk food on your way home from work since your spouse died, make an effort to stop that bad habit. You’ll feel better physically, but even more importantly you’ll feel like you’ve regained control.
#4: Be Open to New Experiences
Losing a partner often creates fear of the unknown and the level of uncertainty we’re constantly faced with only increases. This fear can lead to further isolation both in your mind and in real life. It’s natural that you don’t want to listen to people with different views right now, but at some point, it would be good for you if you could open yourself up to new things because this is necessary for creating a new path in life. This doesn’t mean you have to let go of the grief and move on guilt-free, but it does mean that you’ll get a new perspective if you allow new people and experiences to enter your life.
#5: Don’t Look for the Reason
Everything happens for a reason, right? Well, that may be true but looking for a reason why your spouse passed away may lead to more tears and disappointment because you might never get the answer. It takes incredible courage to accept that you don’t have to understand everything that is happening in your life. Don’t torture yourself by trying to uncover the reason for your loss. Focus on the things that can help you grow, not bury you deeper in your angst.