Do you frequently find yourself struggling to understand how you can seem to do everything right, and still wind up suffering endlessly? The good news is that you’re not alone. The better news is that a little bit of understanding can take you a long way towards gaining control over your life, and learning how to cope with your struggles in a healthy and productive way. Read on to find out about hard truths that we tend to ignore – and that we should absolutely accept if we want to truly control our lives again.
Not Everyone is Going to Like You
Understanding that you can’t please everyone is one of the first steps to taking back control. When you try to bend to the wills and whims of other people to make sure that everyone likes you, the only thing that is going to happen is that you’re not going to like yourself. Accept that there will always be people that don’t like you, and that’s ok.
Things Will Happen that You Can’t Control
It doesn’t matter how carefully you plan the hours and days of your life; things are going to happen that you can’t do anything about. Sometimes those things will just be a speed-bump in your day, and sometimes, they will change your life forever.
You are Responsible for Your Actions
While you may not have control over everything that happens to you, you always have control over how you decide to handle it. Do you want to be the person that melts down and screams at the things beyond your control or the person that takes a deep breath, figures out a solution, and moves on? It’s up to you to decide how you’re going to respond.
No One Else is Responsible for Your Happiness
So many people spend their lives looking for “the one.” The person that they think is going to make them happy. And then when they believe they’ve found that person, they start to wonder why they aren’t happy. Finally, the relationship starts to sour because they aren’t happy like they expected to be. But the thing is, another person isn’t going to make you happy. Only you can do that.
Some People Are Bad for You
There are people in your life that will consistently cause you stress. Some of them will cause you so much distress, that you start to panic when the phone rings, hoping it isn’t them. It can be a friend, a spouse, or even a parent. It doesn’t matter who it is, you need to learn who those people are that cause you harm and learn how to let them go.
Life Isn’t Fair
One of the greatest disservices that we do to children is teaching them about fairness, without explaining that things are sometimes going to be unfair, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Yes, it’s important to try and be fair when dividing treats or chores, but to expect life to be fair is a great way to set people up for failure. When we expect that things are fair, we begin to think that if we aren’t getting something, then we don’t deserve it.
There is Never a Good Time
I’ll do it later. Or, I’ll do it when I don’t have to work 13-hour days. I’ll do it when I’m financially secure. Whether you’re talking about having a baby or taking the trip of a lifetime, don’t wait for the “right” time. The truth is, there is never a “right” time. Stop waiting for it.
If you really wish to do something, start today. Even small steps, if taken now, will bring you closer to achieving your goal than waiting for the right moment which will, in fact, never come.
There Will Always Be “More”
More work. Even more dishes to wash. And more bills to pay. Just like waiting for the right time to do something, waiting for the stress and chaos of daily life to end is a sure way to end up disappointed. The truth is, it never ends. There will always be more struggles facing you in the future, but there will also be more smiles. More joy. Don’t let the endlessness of struggles stop you from enjoying the rest of it.
Life Will Never Be Perfect
You may land your dream job, find the love of your life, and buy the perfect home. And you may think that life is turning out perfectly, but don’t be fooled. Finances will get tight. You will get sick. Something will happen. It doesn’t matter, and it never did. Struggling to achieve “perfection” will leave you perpetually unsatisfied. Just try and focus on life being the best that it can at any moment.
When we learn to accept the hard truths and let go of the lies that we’ve been told about life, and the lies we tell ourselves, we earn the chance to take back control of our lives, improve them, and feel better. Our lives might never be “perfect.” But if we learn to control them, our lives will at least be ours.
About the author:
Evie Cooper is a huge fan of motivational speeches and self-help books. She is also a traveler, a veggie, and a writer, currently supporting Postcode-Checker. Believing that only true sharing knowledge can one truly learn and grow, Evie is often found discussing various topics online, with others.