Maintaining a healthy sex life involves more than just meeting the right person. Regardless if you are dating, single, or even married, your sex life is ever-evolving and goes through many peaks and valleys. However, if you are at a particularly low point in the intimacy department, here are some simple tips to get your sex life back on track:
Tips to get your sex life back on track
Assess the Situation
Marriages and relationships depend on communication to develop and flourish. To understand the changes within your relationship, you have to take a step back and talk about your concerns rather than jump to conclusions. It’s easy to assume that your relationship’s lack of intimacy comes from your partner’s loss of attraction to you or their minimized emotional investment in your partnership, but you are not a mind reader.
There are numerous reasons couples go through sexless phases, and they differ from men to women. Health, for example, can have a significant impact on both men and women’s sex lives. Sexual dysfunctions like erectile dysfunction in men and hypoactive sexual desire disorder in women are typically mistaken for signs of relational issues, when, in reality, they more often signal a deeper physical or mental wellness concern that’s personal to the individual. So, before assuming anything, have an open and honest conversation with your partner to help revamp the honeymoon phase and get you both on the same page.
Reconstruct Date Night
When is the last time you went out on a date? Whether it be your spouse or your causal fling, a fun night on the town can help set the mood for the rest of the night. Dates are essential in relationships because they help redirect the focus back on you and your partner, and they give you a chance to reconnect on an emotional and physical level. However, if you find yourself in the same, mundane “dinner and a movie” routine, maybe its time to spice things up!
Making a bucket list of activities you both have always wanted to try is an excellent way to plan out a monthly or bi-weekly date night while still maintaining the thrill of trying something new. If your budget is tight, but you still want to spice things up, use your home to your advantage and have an indoor date. Having a massage night, or even having drinks on your porch can give a romantic and sexy vibe.
Dress to Impress
We have all heard the expression, “When you look good, you feel good,” but oftentimes, when people enter a relationship, their appearance takes a back seat in priorities. You might not have the time or reason to dress up when your day is full of long hours, children, work, and chores. Yet, making an effort will help you feel your best, and when you feel most attractive, your partner will notice.
This doesn’t mean you have to wear 5-inch heels or a tux every day for your partner to find you attractive; it just means a little bit of effort can help get the ball rolling. If you want to send a message with your clothes, consider wearing lingerie to bed, it’s an easy way to incorporate sexy clothing in a natural and more comfortable setting.
It can be very easy to dismiss your partner’s needs, especially if you think they are at fault for the lack of intimacy in the relationship. But, in order to improve your sex life, you have to be an active listener. What are your partner’s needs, and how could you make them feel wanted?
If your partner is big on spending quality time together, then find ways to include them in your day-to-day activities, or plan a day together. Also, make sure to listen to your partner’s sexual wants as well: what they like and what they wish they got more of. Being considerate of their needs will open the door to a better understanding of each other in general.
Time to Experiment
Sex takes two people, so you should never rely on your partner to do all of the work or vice versa. It is very natural to get into a routine, which is why trying new things, like experimenting with dirty talk or suggesting sex in a new location, can benefit any relationship. This can be nerve-wracking if you haven’t done it before, so go at your own pace and talk to your partner about any insecurities you might have.
Keep in mind while you’re trying things out, that foreplay plays a large role in experimentation. It can prepare and tease you to make for a more enjoyable experience, but it doesn’t only happen in the bedroom. Acts of intimacy like holding hands, kissing, holding each other, or taking a shower together can help create the right mood for sex.
Take a deep breath and remember: no one has a perfect sex life. You will have moments that are filled with passion and other moments that are lacking, and that it is completely normal. So, it’s crucial to work at keeping the fire alive and exciting by building trust within yourself and your partner!
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