Are you ignoring your dreams because you align with people’s negative beliefs about you and your goals? Tune out toxic opinions with these practical steps. How healthy is your personal space?
On the scale of one to ten how content, you feel with the unsolicited advice of people around you?
Do you like such counsels? Or do you resent them?
What about their unwelcomed opinions about you or your life?
How do you feel when someone tells you how crooked is your nose?
And what’s your response to the statement that life is unfair (so you have to accept this unfairness playing against you)?
Or consider an opinion that you are not capable enough to work on one of your goals. Do you enjoy listening to these opinions?
Do you believe them?
Or, the more heartfelt question would be: ‘Do you feel stuck with these external opinions?’.
If you are among highly impressionable people erecting maintaining strong cognitive boundaries can be an everyday struggle. But you can at least practice, right. And you can also be comfortable with this practice of tuning out toxic opinion from people.
Here are a few techniques which you can implement daily to establish healthy personal space.
Be Mindful of Your Emotions
You have to practice mindfulness as a way of life. Mindfulness will help with setting your cognitive boundaries by allowing you to connect with your inner voice. If you are focused on your personal goals and opinions, these will act as enormous weapons against invading thoughts from other people.
All you have to do is to remain mindfully present in your physical environment.
Let me tell you in advance, the practice of mindfulness is easier said than done. Still, you can practice it with grit and perseverance.
If you are a beginner in mindfulness practice, start with small bouts of mindfulness meditation once or twice a day. Gradually increase the number and spread these exercises throughout the day. The last step, when you have mastered your emotions around your thoughts, will be to remain awake to your thoughts and emotions throughout the day.
Here is a quick recipe of mindfulness of emotions meditation:
- Sit comfortably.
- Notice and relax your body parts starting from your head and ending at your legs.
- After relaxing your body, notice your breath. Feel it flowing in an out deep in your body.
- Notice that your mind is wandering out of this focus. Notice the thought as a second person. Name it without judgment.
- Question the why behind this thought. Again, remaining non-judgmental is the key.
- Spend 5 to fifteen minutes being mindful of your thoughts. Then open your cognition to the external world.
This technique is a continuation of your previous technique. Once you are awakening your inner voice, you need to record what it says.
Keep in mind, what your inner voice says is important for your life and its direction. You know yourself better than other people. Aligning with, and believing in, your inner voice will allow you to tune out toxic opinion without much ado.
Once you have given your thought and emotions an expression, by being mindful of them, you have to record them to better understand them and to connect with the positivity behind them.
Establish this journaling routine after night-time meditation.
Tune out Negative Opinion with Assertiveness
The next step towards strengthening your individuality is by asserting it in your life. Saying no is the most notorious practice that helps in asserting your will. You can say no to incoming thoughts by telling your brain how that thought will not fit your lifestyle and your life purpose.
You have to repeat the exact opposite, goal-confirming statement to counter the negative incoming thought.
For example, if you are fighting against people’s negative opinion about your capabilities, tell yourself you are capable as soon as they voice their opinion. You must negate this opinion before it becomes a mental loop. And if it does end up becoming a loop before your intervention, repeat your positive affirmation as many times as this opinion replays in your mind. Repetition can undo previous programs of the mind if it’s done continuously.
Saying no more often is just one way of asserting your opinion. The other way is strengthening your yes.
You can assert yes by focusing on your capabilities and goals and strengthening them. Emotionally connect with your opinion. Spend a fraction of your day visualizing it. Believe it by reading and hearing the success stories.
Now your yes is strengthened, you can use it to fight the incoming thoughts. Whenever you hear a negative comment about your weaknesses, tune out negative thoughts by reminding yourself of your goals and your chances to succeed.
Work on Your Social Circle
Yes, you are enough for yourself. You can conquer your thoughts just by being you and practicing calm congruence.
The constant struggle of not giving in in front of all the distractions coming from outside is not that difficult because you, yourself, are capable of upholding your independence.
But it will be hard to practice being yourself when you are surrounded by overbearing people who also hold different worldviews than you.
Searching for your tribe is one essential part of maintaining a connection with yourself and tuning out negative thoughts. So, keep searching and spending more time with likeminded people.
Another method is to start every relationship at a positive, assertive note. Even toxic people can excel at practice keeping their opinions muted if they know that their emotions can’t hurt the passions of their listeners.
Your life has a purpose. And your duty is to prove it to you and your environment that you are committed to this purpose.
But you cannot remain committed to your purpose in the presence of many distractions you get from people around you.
Hell no! You can remain committed even in this chaos. All you have to do is to tune out toxic opinion and to choose your commitment over and over again.
I hope this article helped you in strengthening your commitment to your life purpose.
About the Author
Abdul Qayyum Rajpoot is a productivity enthusiast who in on mission to help entrepreneurs and solopreneurs in achieving their business goals through focus, grit, and motivation. When he is not advocating smarter work, he is traveling the world or journaling his achievements in the self-growth arena on his blog.
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