When you decide to take a step forward in your longterm relationship, it often begins with sharing your apartment’s key or moving in together. There are various milestones that partners in a relationship like to hit before going for marriage. And moving in together is one of them.
As attractive and fun it may sound, it’s a significant step involving many crucial factors that both partners should be aware of. Amongst many reasons why you would want to move in with your boyfriend, mutual understanding and loving each other’s company are the crucial ones.
After all, it seems like a logical thing to do when taking the next step in your relationship. But living together isn’t a be all, end all of a relationship.
It’s like letting a person into your private space, sharing things, and committing to having him around you all the time. There are also financial aspects that you must ponder over before taking the plunge.
So how do you know you are ready? How do you figure out if this is the right thing to do? If you are making a hasty decision, stop right now and check out these top ten questions that you must ask your boyfriend before moving in together.
Not only the answers will help you make the right decision right now, but it will also clear your mind about the future with that special person.
- Why are we moving in together?
This is the first and most crucial question to ask your boyfriend. Both you and your boyfriend should be on the same page as far as this question is concerned. Addressing this question alone would resolve half the issue.
The answer your boyfriend gives should be real and promising. His answers shouldn’t be based on how convenient moving in sounds in a longterm relationship. Such reasons are not lasting and do not particularly mean that you are ready to take this step in your relationship.
Be very clear about your reasons. Talk to each other if there’s any confusion. Honesty is the key here. If your partner can answer this question with utmost sincerity, not only living together will be a blessing, but it will also strengthen your relationship.
- How will you address the expenditure and finances?
Living together means additional expenses. Being utterly clueless about how such sensitive matters will be resolved can be quite frustrating later. Not deciding your expenditures and finances beforehand can be very stressful.
Ask him and think about dividing your utilities, rent, bills, cleaning and maintenance services, home repairs, etc. Be clear-cut about who will pay for what and how to deal with additional expenses.
- How would you resolve arguments?
No matter how compatible you and your boyfriend are, problems and arguments do arise. Even the most ‘picture perfect’ relationship faces struggles when two people start living together. You expose yourself to a great deal, and that’s when the problems begin.
Of course, you can’t foresee this before moving in. But it is essential to discuss this with your boyfriend. Decide who will call truce first or who will break the ice when both are fuming. Set up a method to resolve issues to save yourself a lot of stress.
- What about your career goals?
Another most crucial thing to discuss is to have a clear idea about each other’s career goals. Moving in requires a significant time commitment. If your careers are poles apart and need you to travel often, the other partner should be entirely comfortable with it.
Moving in doesn’t only mean living together. It requires supporting each other’s goals and life. If you are compatible with such sensitive issues and support each other’s aspirations, you are good to go.
- What’s your preferred lifestyle?
When you hang out together, you can get a little idea about the person’s lifestyle, but you aren’t entirely sure until you live together. Even in a long-term relationship, you may be unaware of your boyfriend’s secret indulgence.
Talk about food preferences, routine, wake-up schedule, etc. Also, be clear about the type of home feel you prefer and food you like at home. Resolving these matters before time can save you a lot of awkward moments and indulgences that you should better steer clear of.
- What home chores can you take care of?
Of course, no one likes chores, but that’s a significant contribution two people should make towards making a house. However, let’s face it: you are not going to be the house help. You are the partner in the relationship, and just like everything else, home chores should be divided too.
However, instead of having heated arguments, decide on earlier and choose your duties based on what you are good at. Setting up the game plan together can give you both a sense of accountability for your set of work. Try to stick to it later to avoid arguments.
- What do you think of my friends and pets?
This is another sensitive matter that should be discussed beforehand. If you both have a pet, be very particular about your requirements. Give room to your partner to explain his plans too. Make sure your pets get along, so it’s less of a hassle for you. Try to introduce them to each other first before forcing them into living together.
Similarly, be very clear about your private space within the house you both are about to share. It’s not only necessary to have your ‘me time,’ but having to hang out with your friends when you need is also undebatable. Similar space should be given to your partner.
- How do you plan to enjoy your alone time?
Being in an intimate relationship doesn’t mean you are going to be together all the time. Of course, you love each other’s company but alone time is also quite essential. Living with someone can feel like you are losing control over your time.
Ask your boyfriend about his plans on how he wishes to spend his alone time. You don’t want to hurt him later by telling him you need to be alone to watch TV or read a book or anything. Some level of independence is crucial even if you love to hang on to each other’s neck the rest of the time. So have a chat about it to make it clear.
- How do you like your food?
While cooking will not be your responsibility, it is good to be clear about how the both of you prefer your food. Do you like eating home? Do you prefer dining out? Is this a commitment that you guys will always eat together? What about special occasions?
Food means a lot to many people. Discussing the food choices is an important question to ask your boyfriend. Figure out how you will manage meals and even decide who is going to do the dishes. You can discuss that under the ‘chores question.’
- Are we doing this for us?
Social media has made it quite a pressure for everyone to show off that they are in a blissful relationship. Some people might take this extreme measure just to earn that satisfaction.
Make sure your boyfriend’s reasons are associated with you and your relationship only. Moving in together should not be a decision taken under pressure to show it off to friends and family. This answer would also say a lot about the seriousness of your relationship and give you an idea of how long you can expect it to go.
So these are all these critical questions to ask your boyfriend. People have different reasons to take this step, but the answer to these questions mentioned above will give you a clear idea if you are ready to make the move.
If you two are already spending most of your days and nights together because you love each other’s company, it may be the best decision of your life. Also, if you two are sure about taking this as the next step in your relationship and are also expecting to get married down the road, moving in together will be great.
Don’t hesitate in talking about the future and discuss all essential topics in detail until you are thoroughly satisfied. If both of your answers are great and you feel great about your decision – go for it right now!
About the Author
Evie Harrison is a blogger by choice. She loves to discover the world around her. She likes to share her discoveries, experiences and express herself through her blogs.
Find her on Twitter:@iamevieharrison