Are you still tied to your past, wishing to return there, to change it, to correct your mistakes, and to avoid troubles and the people who have hurt you even though you know that the past can’t be changed? Are you constantly avoiding risks and things that life puts in front of you, just because the pain from the past is still in you and you don’t want to let it go? You are feeling more secure in a familiar state than doing something that is unknown to you. I used to be afraid of ghosts from my past—I thought they haunted me. Old wounds were aching every time when I would remember. I was too self-critical and I considered past as my enemy, but I could not erase it, neither can you. Perhaps you should leave the past behind so you can start living now.
What we CAN do to feel better and to leave the past behind us, where it belongs, is this:
1) Be thankful on the experiences you had, instead of worrying
When you are thankful for the things what happened in your past, especially on negative moments, you are open to receive something new and better what will come. Look at those moments with gratitude and with inner peace; it means that you have overcome them and that you moved on with your life. When you are grateful for your past, you start to realize why this happened to you and what you can do so that it never happens again.
2) If you already remember the past, let it be a remembrance of good times, instead of ugly ones
It’s okay to sometimes remember what was, because you can’t forget, but if these things are sad, or you have suffered because of them, you’ll just feel worse now than then. Remembering the positive moments from time to time will attract more positivity in your present.
3) Focus on the present moment or on the future, instead of focusing on what happened months or years ago
Plan your future, the next day, the next week, month or year, be active in order to realize your plans. Don’t stay in the past, you`re not there. When you are planning your life, the past fades away and you see clearer what’s in front of you. But if you’re still focused on the past, you’ll be stuck in the past.
4) Turn your back on your past, instead of staring at it, trying to figure it out
Past WAS, today IS, and tomorrow WILL be. What it takes to be learned, learn, what it takes to forgive, forgive, but don`t ever stand in a time that no longer exists; don`t be tied to what you were.
5) Be surrounded by loved ones, instead of feeling hurt by people who are no longer in your life
Be here with people who are with you now, or meet new positive people. It`s very frustrating when you’re still rewinding the same movie in your head about someone who hurt you, or someone that you lost. I know it`s hard, but you have to let go of the past, to be with people who are in your present and who care about you.
6) This moment will become the past in the next moment so make it valuable, instead of neglecting it
Do you want to make this moment be the same as the previous? If not, then you have to live each moment as it is valuable and because your life is valuable. Your past, whatever it was, has worth, but you can’t see it until you change the view of it, and stop blaming it for your present. Don’t allow yourself to repent for what you didn’t do, instead, do something good now to feel good and to feel worthy, because you are worthy.
7) Think of what you can change today, instead of thinking about the past that can’t be changed
Do you already see how you create your future and present by focusing on past events that left you stuck in life? I hope that you don’t want your past to be your mark and represent who you are. Then, move on, past will stay in that place, where it should be, and your future will be grateful for that.
8) Enjoy what you have, instead of worrying about things that you lost
When you’re worried, more things come into your life that make you even more worried. Starts noticing the good things that you have now, that are here with you.
9) Forgive everyone from your past, instead of accusing them for your suffering
If you continue to carry the burden of unforgiveness in your present, it will continue to hurt, but not the burden, no matter how large it is. What continues to hurt is your heart, and sooner o—r later unforgiveness will physically manifest in your body. Don`t let that happen. Forgive if you don`t want to get sick. Forgive, so you can move forward, and leave the ghosts from your past where they belong. Forgive, so you can feel free from those memories and start living.
10) Look at the bright side of your past, instead of looking it through your dark glasses
What does past want to teach you? What is the good thing that came from something bad? What will you do differently now so that you don’t make the same mistake again?
Your life is today
Past doesn`t define you, but your holding on to the past defines your future. What you have done, or what you haven’t done, is the only thing you have known then about how to proceed in a given situation. Don`t give so much energy to something that no longer lives, except in your memories. Don`t let your life pass you by.
By Jana Tosic. I love to read and write about life, lessons learned and true stories of people who survived and overcame difficult moments in their lives. If you have any questions, you can e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet me. https://twitter.com/janatosicwrites